Welcome to my life battle. where to start? I have always been heavy, its has always been a battle for me. At the very least I have always remembered having a distorted body image of myself. I felt out of place.
As I am writing this, I realize to make this meaningful I need to talk about my weigh in terms of numbers - as a women that is like walking a way from chocolate while PMS. The horror, I am going to post my weight online for all to see. However, I believe that most of you are here reading with the best of intentions and will respect that I am sharing, in hopes, of helping someone (even if it is just one person). So please no judgments or gossip, these are the facts of my life and I am taking action!
I remember going to the Nurses office in Clinton Elementary and getting on the scale. I think I was in 5th grade. It was 103 pounds. I knew that was more then the other kids but I didn't know how much more. That inner-accountant in me told me that 3 digits is not good. I was so afraid to tell my mom because I was embarrassed. What do you do about it when you are in 5th grade? I knew I needed to 'Diet" but I didn't know what Diet meant. And then it started…
I remember being around 180-190 my freshman and sophomore years of high school. I basically avoided all scales so short of requesting medical files, I do not have an accurate number. By some miracle..okay a growth spurt, I lost a lot of weigh around 11th grade and managed to feel good about myself . I weigh in at about 150. Check out my rocking prom photo! The Class of 1997 Jr. Prom!!
College came and with it the freshmen 15 per semester. By the time I graduated college I was about 80 pounds heavier than high school. So that’s about 20 pounds a year. I walked down that aisle as a fat bride ..about 235. Over the next few years I hid from my fat by eating more. I slowly moved up about 20 more pounds.
After my son was born, in 2005, I lost my job and a bit of depression pushed me up higher. In Feb 2007 I signing up for weigh watchers at work and weighed in at 273 pounds.
Seeing that number was like a gun shot to the chest. In about 4 months time I was able to get down to 240. For the rest of 2007, I stayed in and around the 240’s. I even played softball that year with some girls from work.
New Years Day 2008 was a changing moment for me. I woke up new years and I was sick of everything: Sick of how I felt, sick of how I looked, what clothes I had. That moment was enhanced by that weight loss competition at work. By June of 2008 I was down 46 pounds to 201! Life was great. I have some great photos from that summer of me!
By fall I was pregnant, and to avoid morning sickness, I was eating carbs like mad. I was 280 something when i gave birth in July 2009...that summer I was able to get down to 249 but gained it back during the holidays.
So there I was on January 1st 2010..263 pounds, ugh. I started working out and watching what I was eating. I ended up losing about 18 pounds by June 1 - or 1 pound a week. But it was frustrating. I would lose and then gain. I just was at the end of my rope when….The local TV news station teamed up with a local trainer for a contest. You would have full access to Next Level and all summer to lose weight. The contest was call MV Biggest Winner - could this be what I needed?
Yes it was by the end of the contest I was down 25 pounds. I have not stopped! I am stronger and more confident then all the years past.
Dirty little secret of the above before photo – those are maternity clothes that I was still wearing – even thought Emma was 11 months old.
This spring moved into ONEderland! I now feel anything is possible! I figure I spent 12 years, or my entire twenties, in 200s. Lost time.
My new lifestyle is very busy and active. I attend bootcamp during the week, run or hike on the weekends. I love to try new receipts ideas! Trying to make something I love to eat healthy and good for me. I have basically cut 90% of processed food, and recently over came my addition to peanut butter. I still have a way to go, I binge on food, chocolate is my drug of choice, and some things I could just do differently. But I will hit my target weight of 154.
I wish I could tell you I had a magic pill but I don’t. I don’t have all the answers, but what I can tell you is: what I did, what I do, and how it happens to work for me. I just hope to inspire you to move past the bumps in the road that you run into.
In order to progress and succeed, you need to work for it – and its hard work. You have to be your boss, your coach, your biggest cheerleader. You need to turn off the negative voice that you will run into and keep moving forward.
So there you have it my 31+ years rolled into one blog post. In case you are trying to do the math, as of this week (8/17/11), I weighed in at 177. I am 23 pounds from my prom photo weight, also knows as my target weight. I will get there and I hope you will too!