Which wagon are you on?

Some times when we camp at private campgrounds they have hayrides!  You check in and they give you the schedule of events and you see that the hayrides are at 430.  You think oh that’s easy to remember.  The next thing you know you hear a tractor and music and its 4:35.  There goes the first wagon ride.  You grab the kids and go searching for that darn wagon.

I have been looking for the wagon this past week.   Eating badly – only 2 workouts and a hike. 
Yesterday I got back on the wagon – detoxed myself of PB (yes it’s in the garbage…) and carbs.  I ate pretty well –within my calories, but I was bad on water – I really didn’t drink any L (bad me).  I also got in 3 walks and a 4 mile run.

I have been in a funk this last week.  I was bored and annoyed that I had to lose weight. I was bored of trying, it has been 15 months of constantly watching what I eat, what I do, and then measure my success (to some degree) based on a medal object on my basement floor.  I was annoyed that I had allowed myself to go so far down the unhealthy path.  Had I not gained anymore weight after college I would be at my target weight right now.  But nope I have to keep going. Welcome to my funk mindset.

I really had to sit back and think about it.  Which statement did I want to be?

·         I work out because I have been eating so badly

·         I eat healthy because I work out.

I would love to be at my target weight and to be maintaining (all though I am sure that will be a lot of work too).  But I am not happy with where I am at so the journey continues.  There is no point to me kicking my butt at boot camp doing burpees and mountain climbers only to eat crap.  I need my eating and workouts to be on the same wagon ride.  They need to go hand in hand. 

Burpees suck, but it’s a great feeling when I am done with them.  I remember at Christmas Steve said 5 minutes of burpees burns one Christmas cookie so that’s like 150-180 calories.  Is a frosted sugar cookie with sprinkles really worth 5 minutes of burpees?

Some days the wagon ride is smooth, other days it’s bumpy as hell and I feel like I am always chasing it down.  But what matters is that I get back on.  When I fall off I will not go back to the starting line and start over.  I pick myself up where I am at and chase that darn wagon down.

Now which of the statements do you want to be?

·         I work out because I have been eating so badly

·         I eat healthy because I work out.

I hope you picked the second one!  See what you can do this week to make that statement represent you.

Comfort food

Its sad but summer is almost over.  The weather is starting to feel like my favorite time of year, Fall!  I love fall, the colors, the weather, the food!  In a perfect fantasy  world I would be sitting by 8th lake with a cup of coffee and maple donut in size 6 jeans without worrying about my ass growing!  That’s just not reality.  I have to think about everything that I put in my mouth (get your mind out of the gutter..pigs).

This weekend my family and I will be going north to the high peaks region.   The weather forecast for up there is so fall like…Cold nights/morning and warm during the day.  Camping and fall weather – yeah I already want the homemade mac n cheese!  I hit the 530am bootcamp to sneak in another workout before leaving.  530 is mad early so afterward I went to DD to get some java – they have all the pumpkin stuff out already.  Grrr.  I really wanted that pumpkin muffin and I probably burn that many calories at BC,  But I walked away. 

So does this mean I will never ever eat Homemade mac n cheese again or pumpkin muffins, nope.  I have made both before that were low calorie and low fat..google is an amazing thing! tons of websites full of healthy food ideas.  If you know my husband you know that he doesn’t need to lose a pound so he doesn’t want to eat the healthy stuff…seriously I have watched this man eat a pound of bacon – turkey bacon is not an option to him.  Because of this some days I have to eat “regular food” but it doesn’t derail me.  Its all in planning.  If I know that I have a potential high calorie dinner I make really good choices earlier in the day.  This works for parties too. 

When we go camping I set rules for myself (because I could really just sit all day by the campfire and eat my weight in peanuts).

My camping/vacation rules:

• Eat as I would if I was at work. I will decide what to eat before filling my plate and stick with it NO SECONDS
• Drink lots of water
• Go for walks and bike rides whenever possible
• Allow myself one treat each night while at the campfire.
• Eat no white carbs
• I will not eat any salted peanuts and / or pistachios (unless they are my “treat” for the night)

I try not to reward myself with food, like yeah I lost 5 pounds lets get ice cream.  yeah I did good this weekend I earned a muffin.  I am bound to slip up I am bound to have a stressful day and maybe buy a muffin or candy bar.  It happens, we are human and we have triggers.  I just move forward and try to make better choices and stick with my plan. 

For me this weekend I PLAN to be lakeside with my coffee and whole wheat toast in size 10 jeans..and I am okay with that!  I plan to hike a mountain and/or run around the lake.  I plan to go kayaking and eat smores.  I plan to do my best.

Stress

We all have stress in our lives.  Some days more than others. Some days we can handle the stress that we run into. Other days the stress takes over, this my friends, typically leads to trouble.

I have been very stressed the last week.  Trying to get Tyler ready for kindergarten, fighting with Emma to potty train, all the stuff that needs to be done around the house, finding a new sitter, running a 10k, get ready for an upcoming trip.  AHHHH!!

I just wanted to snack all week.  The first day I ate pretzels.  The second day I wanted chocolate.  Today I wanted pizza.  I just wanted to eat like a mad women.  I did my best on Monday, I fought off the urges and really didn’t over eat past my calories.  Yesterday, I went over my calories, I wanted chocolate but I kept eating pretzels.  Some where along the way I found a jar of peanut butter.

I don’t know how it happened.  I don’t remember the first bite. I don’t remember the day or the time.  But I know it happened. there is a lot of PB missing out of the jar.  And as my husband asked “why are there so many Peanut butter covered spoons in the sink?”  You know it is. You take a spoon from the jar and get a big scoop.  You savor it as you empty the spoon.  You put the spoon in the sink because you were only going to have one scoop.  oh But it was so good, what's one more bite?  You get another spoon out and when you are done it too goes in the sink.  Well Peanut butter is a protein, so third spoon in the sink.  Sound familiar?

So I am back to step one, admitting that I have problem with peanut butter, admitting that the stress is taking over.  Step two, remove the trigger item.  Well I can not go get a new job, but I did find a new sitter, and packing is started.  I will not be taking peanut butter on our trip.  So I will be going cold turkey again.

Quitting cold turkey will probably add more stress to my day.  So I need to find ways to distract myself.  A recent blog entry by Rachel Cosgrove has 25 ideas on distracting yourself (can be found here).  These are great to keep posted on the fridge. 

Tracking my food and seeing the calories add up and up and up..that stopped me from eating even worse this week.  I am mad that I did this, mad that I didn’t make the decision to walk away from the peanut butter.  But the good news is that the one thing I am not stressing over is the binges this week.  So what, I am eating like shit and going over my calories.  I am not losing weight, but I am being active. I am walking and attending bootcamp.  I try not to focus on the meals I already ate, I can not change the past only improve the future.

what is your plan to keep from eating whiles stressed?

Challenging yourself

Its so much easier to say “I can’t do it” then to put in the effort to try.  My accounting degree tells me:

doing nothing (effort)  + thinking about doing something (intentions) = Start tomorrow (lack of results)

0+0=0

The problem with “can’t” is it feels like shit.  The great thing about “doing” is how satisfying it feels.  When you do something you didn’t know you could do, its very rewarding.  You are proud of yourself and it increases your confidence to do more. 

Challenging by definition: requiring full use of your abilities or resources; "performed the most challenging task”

Challenging myself along the way has been a key to my success.  Moving up on KB weight, or trying a heavier one are great ways to challenge yourself.  Worse case you are unable to do it, so did you fail? NOPE!  Failing is defined as “unsuccessful in achieving one's goal.”  Because you couldn't press the red KB over your head today doesn’t mean you will not be able to do it tomorrow or next week or a month from today.

I have also challenged myself with food, to eat less, to eat better, to get over my Peanut butter addiction.  There are days (like today) where by noon I was at 80% of my daily calorie intake but did I fail today?  No, while my calories suck for the day, I didn’t eat peanut butter (score!).  I making a great dinner and I will do good for the rest of today.  Tomorrow I start fresh and will stay in my calories!

One little saving grace I have today is that I ran a 10K at the casino.  It was my challenge to myself on June 1.  June 1st was my 1 year anniversary of the start of MVBW at Next level and being fully committed.  On that day I signed up for the 10K to push myself, to prove how far I had come.  I was running about 4.5 miles at that point and figured 2.5 months would allow me the time to get up to 6.2 miles for the race. 

Prior to today, the longest I had run was 5.9 miles.  I didn’t know how today would go.  I just didn’t have the time to get more runs in – I would rather go to bootcamp then run!  In the middle of the week I had major stress going on and considered not running.  But I remembered my challenge to myself, and off I went to the starting line at 8am.

The first mile took me 10:10; 3 miles took me 31:13; 5 Miles took 52minutes.  It wasn’t easy, running up hill from mile marker 2 – 4 on route 31.  By the down hill portion of Stoney Brook my legs were so sore – like they feel after 4 rounds of 20:10 squat jumps and burpee finisher – you know what I am talking about!  Around the 5th mile you could see the casino and it motivated me to keep moving, don’t give up.  I had to walk a few times over the 6.2 miles but I kept the breaks short. .. “you get out what you put in”

Finally the finish line!  One hour and eight minutes later (and two blisters!).  I did it! Not only did I finish, I blasted my time expectation.  Right in front of me was a 18 year old kid that sprinted past me at the 6 mile mark.  As he crossed the finish line – he puked! I was in better condition than he was!  I walked past him to receive my water, my power-aid and MY METAL!

The first metal I have ever received!  I am so excited and proud!  So what are you going to do this week to challenge yourself.  Think about it, write it down and post it some where as a visual reminder thru the week.  Good luck!!